How to deal with Toxic Parenting?

What is Toxic Parenting?

When people discuss toxic parents they are typically describing parents who consistently behave in ways that cause guilt, fear, or obligation in their children.

What are the signs?

Some of the common signs of toxic parenting are as follows:

• Manipulative behavior

• Self- centeredness

• Micro Management

• Hiding matters of importance to the family

• Physical, Verbal and Emotional abuse

• Constant comparison to other children and family

• Lack of empathy, love and concern for the children and the family

• Lack of responsibility

• Lack of appreciation

What are the effects of toxic parents?

1. You have a higher risk of developing an anxiety disorder.

2. You may suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

3. You may be highly self-critical and blame yourself for everything.

4. You’re more likely to experience health problems.

5. You have a hard time saying no because your boundaries weren’t respected.

6. You may develop an insecure attachment that affects your relationships.

Remember!

As toxic the person may be, we can only do very little to change that. That is so, because we can only control and modify our actions. People constantly make choices and decisions for themselves and in no way we say you have to accept everything they do and say which is hurtful and feels wrong to you.

What can you do?

• Acknowledge and accept that there are certain things beyond your control such as other people’s behaviors, feelings and thoughts.

• Acknowledging they might have been faced with toxic parenting too as a child and thus have internalized it.

• Set your personal boundaries straight and be assertive about it.

• Talk and confide about your feelings and concerns to someone you trust and is responsible (preferably someone elder, aware of your concerns).

• If there’s a possibility of living away from them, consider that.

• If matters get worse and you are being constantly subjected to physical abuse/domestic violence, take help from a trustworthy, responsible elder and get in touch with a child helpline.

• Talk to a professional such as Counsellor/Psychologist.

Would you like to work on the effects of toxic parenting? Guidance from a professional can help you effectively and safely navigate through your concerns, identify any toxic patterns that might be existing and work on building a healthier self.

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