Self Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”

Tony Robbins

Oftentimes in life we think of all the situations where we knowingly or unknowingly hurt our near and dear ones and as a repercussion we have either lost them, soured the relationship for a good while or have made up unexpectedly early. But what is sure to happen is, to feel remorse and guilt for our actions.

“To err is human and to forgive is divine”

As the famous saying goes, human beings are privileged to make mistakes and learn from it. Although we accept we will make mistakes throughout our course of life, even then it is often difficult to accept, learn and move on from it.

I have had a client tell me that even after 10 years they still feel guilty of an act they committed out of pure trust and faith for the other individual, which then resulted in a traumatic outcome.

What does forgiveness mean?

Forgiving yourself is about more than just putting the past behind you and moving on. It is about accepting what has happened and showing compassion to yourself. Facing what you have done or what has happened is the first step toward self-forgiveness.

Forgiveness entails following characteristics:

• Accepting feelings and thoughts of guilt and resentment

• Being Compassionate to self

• Learning from the act and,

• Letting go of the past and looking forward

How to forgive oneself?

If I ask you what is easier to do, forgiving others or self?

You’d probably reply with the former option. The truth of the matter is, we find it easier to forgive and forget other people’s actions that have hurt us, than our own. We tend to be more hard on ourselves and are ready to go to extreme lengths, to let off the feelings of guilt and remorse.

But the question to ask here is, How do we forgive ourselves?

It is true that the path to forgiveness is a rocky one, you would be faced with many difficulties, before you finally reach a position where you can make peace with your actions, accept and finally look towards the future. But what is important to remember here is that Every step you take, You are growing along the way..

Self forgiveness journey can be achieved by following these steps:

• Accept your feelings

• Remember to be kind to self

• Acknowledge the learnings from that experience

• Identify ways to apply those learnings in your life

• Take out time to do things that make you happy

• Give yourself time

Self Forgiveness and Mental Health:

Does forgiving oneself have Mental Health benefits? The answer is Yes!

Research has shown that those who practice self-forgiveness have better mental and emotional well-being, more positive attitudes and healthier relationships. A related outcome ties self-compassion with higher levels of success, productivity, focus and concentration.

Would you like to work on Self forgiveness? Guidance from a professional can lay out an effective plan to deal with feelings of guilt and remorse and work towards forgiveness.

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